So, how does one learn to be congruent with words and intent?

It takes practice and desire.

It requires learning to get emotions out of the way so the mind and take the time needed to figure out the correct words.

It might require backing up, apologizing, and starting over.

is a mind training exercise where one must convince the subconscious that being congruent is one’s true intent.

Once the subconscious believes that you really want to speak based on actual values, it will help you do so.